Age is just a number – Birthday Reflection
I started off writing this post a few weeks ago because I knew I’d be out of town for my birthday and on vacation and probably wouldn’t have the time to write it later. I had also intended to do a special photo shoot specific for this post and I had even told my friend Ana Cristina to help me with it. We had planned a photo shoot at the beach and planned it for early December. Well, things don’t always go as planned. Unfortunately, we were both very busy and between that and some rainy days, we just didn’t get a chance to do it. I later left to LA with no idea how I was gonna finish this post because again, no time to even think about it much.
Today is December 20 and I am turning 35 years old. Yes, 35. How did that happen? How did I get here so fast? Am I really where I wanna be in life? What about “settling down”? How am I 35 years old if I feel like I’m 28? What about kids? All of these were questions running through my mind as I sat down to finish this post. I decided to share my age with all of you because as cliché as it may sound, I realized that age really is just a number. As much as getting older scares most of us women, our true age is determined by how old we really feel. In all honesty, I feel younger in spirit than I have ever felt. I feel younger than I did the day I turned 30. Many people don’t believe me when I tell them my age and they all pretty much coincide in believing my age is around 28. I’ll take it! Hence, another reason I felt comfortable in sharing my age. A friend recently told me he believed I looked younger than I actually was because I’m always positive and because I laugh a lot. I also mentioned it was probably because I wasn’t married. Kidding aside, it got me thinking that maybe he’s right. If you know me personally, you know I’m for the most part always happy, I always have a positive outlook on life and I’m always laughing, laughing out loud I must add. That’s what I feed my soul with and that’s what reflects on my outside. So yes, I believe that does have to do with me not reflecting my real age.
If you would’ve asked me years ago what I pictured my life at 35 years old, I would’ve never said where I am now. As I was growing up my plans were to be married late in life – 27 years old- (I laugh at that now because that is NOT late in life), having 3 children – 2 boys and 1 girl and living a happy and successful life as a criminal investigator. That is NOT where I am now. For years I dreamed of living in Miami but never actually pictured myself living there. Now, I live in Miami. I am no longer in the Criminal Justice field. I am not married and nowhere near taking that step and much less having kids, but I’m the happiest I have ever been.
For the last several years I didn’t necessarily look forward to my birthdays. Life wasn’t bad and it’s not like I dreaded them, but I wasn’t happy where I was in life and reaching another birthday was just a yearly reminder that another year had passed by and I was stuck in the same place. I feared the years would continue to pass me by and I would always be stuck where I didn’t want to be. This year is different. I’m the happiest I have ever been. I might have not accomplished what other people have at my age, but they also haven’t accomplished what I have. In only one year I made the life changing decision to leave everything and everyone in LA (including my family) and move cross country to Miami by myself to pursue a dream only I saw and envisioned. That in itself is an accomplishment. Many people settle for the lives they have at the moment because they fear the risk, they fear the unknown, and they fear failing. I fear settling. I fear settling for a life that’s okay all because I feared taking the risk.
This year has taught me that I should never measure my success against someone else’s because we all have different lives and go through different things and situations at different stages in life. It’s something I try to remind myself on a daily basis. This year I learned to be happy with what I’ve accomplished so far without settling for just that. This year I learned to congratulate myself and be proud of every step I take towards the direction of my goals no matter how small that step might be. This year I learned to believe in myself more. This year I learned to realize and know what I bring to the table in every aspect in life and to never accept anything less than that. This year I learned to be happy with everything I am and have.